THE WHORE REPORT
ISSUE NUMBER 2
It is now against the law to operate any type of media outlet or communication device without mentioning Paris Hilton, for she is now THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON ON THE PLANET. This does not bode well for our species, but for now let's just obey the law and think and speak of her constantly. By the way, we at WHORECO predict that, like Madonna, she will not go down in history, but ON history.
He is truly this year's model. Mr. Costello must've signed with William Morris or somethin'. He currently is appearing in a Lexus commercial (all flags at half mast, please), sitting in the luxury vehicle, raving about how much he loves music (his wife Diana Krall also has her own Lexus commercial). As if this were not enough to embarrass us all off the planet, he is also featured in an ongoing print campaign for VISA Card. We have the feeling that he's just getting started. And if you're keeping track, his first dozen albums have just been issued for the fourth time (1. CBS, 2. Ryko, 3. Rhino, 4. Hip-O). Also just issued are two different compilations, (another greatest hits and a 'rock and roll' collection). More compilations of various themes are planned, and starting this Fall, Hip-O will also begin the 30th anniversary edition series with his first album from 1977, My Aim Is True. So the question is, Mr. McManusdonald's, just how many times are we supposed to repurchase your entire catalog? No problem, I'll just high tail it to my local music shop in my Lexus and pay for all your reissues with my VISA CARD. By the way, can you recommend a nice soft drink?
It seems that no one is content to just put an album out anymore. Everybody must release TWO albums, the regular edition and the deluxe edition. We feel that when released on the same day, consumers have before them a reasonable choice. This month has seen the simultaneous release of twin editions by both Paul McCartney and The Traveling Wilburys. Where is gets dicey is when the two editions are released at separate times, often requiring the devoted fan to buy the deluxe edition after he or she has already spent money weeks or months earlier on the regular edition. WHORECO deems this unfair. Millionaire rock stars should remember that most of the people who made them millionaires are not themselves millionaires, and thus cannot afford to be forced into buying two editions of the same f'n' album time and time again. Put 'em out on the same day and make it a fair fight. Recent offenders who have released deluxe editions months after the regular editions include working man rock stars such as Bruce Springsteen and Tom Petty. Dudes, yer making my blue collar blue.
They recently appeared on American Idol. Need we say more? While it was for a good cause (they performed John Lennon's "Working Class Hero" to promote the new Lennon tribute/benefit Instant Karma CD), we maintain that anybody who appears on American Idol for ANY reason should change the name on their drivers license to Ima Cheesebutt.
That's all for now, Whore fans, but be confident of one thing until we meet again; your favorite rock star is about to sell out (again). Cheers!
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